I don’t watch the news.  I decided a long time ago that the information contained within those broadcasts was useless.  I still watch TV, but the only programs I see that contain any “current events” are The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and The Colbert Report.  Yes, both programs are biased as can be (what news program isn’t?), but I love them both for different reasons.

Some people question me: “How can you be a comedian and not watch the news?” The truth is that my act has never had a political angle to it.  The few times that I have tried something like that, I looked like an idiot.  Also, if comedy fans want the best satirical take on current events they can watch Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert deliver this almost nightly.

Not watching the news does have some benefits.  I don’t believe that the world will end tomorrow.  Definitely a plus. Listening to the anchors every night must have a negative effect as a result of the polarized arguments on topics like global warming and the economic crisis.

When walking around outside I find myself struck by the ridiculous nature of the economic doom-sayers.  I still see people out with friends and family, having dinner in restaurants, and buying Christmas presents.  In fact, if you never listened to the news you might not even be aware of the “crisis”. (Also - if you didn’t check up on your investment statements.)

That said, I do wish to learn more about the situation and as luck would have it I came into possession of a book called Naked Economics by Charles Wheelan.  The book does an excellent job of explaining economic concepts in a clear fashion without graphs and equations.  I came across an interesting quote:

“Economists reckon that by the time the Berlin Wall crumbled, some East German car factories were actually destroying value.  Because the manufacturing process was so inefficient and the end product was so shoddy, the plants were producing cars worth less than the actual inputs used the make them.  Basically, they took perfectly good steal and ruined it!”

I don’t think I have to listen to the news to find the similarity to today’s situation.  Beurocrats are considering a massive economic bail-out and are choosing to interfere with the free market.  (On a side note, why is this action not considered socialism when Barack Obama’s health-plan is?) Just a few lines after the above quote is this one, referencing a government-subsidized business in India (which is nominally capitalist)…

“Every day, twelve hundred employees reported to work with the avowed goal of producing fertilizer.  There was just one small complication: The plant had never actually produced any salable fertilizer.  None.  Government bureaucrats ran the plant using public funds… It limped along because there was no mechanism to force it to shut down.”

The important point there is “mechanism to force it to shut down.”  No matter how bad it gets, continued interference can not help.  So, I’ve decided to start investing in shirts.  That’s right.  This past August, on vacation, I spent quite heavily on a new shirt in which to perform in.  I spent so much in fact that several people commented: “You almost lost your shirt on that shirt.”

This “investment” was before the economic crisis - and it hasn’t lost any value to me - so it’s stable.  (That’s more than can be said about most other investments.) And, sometimes, I am living in it, so it’s like real estate - which I am told is always a good investment.

So even if the entire economy collapses (which I won’t find out about until a few days later without watching the news) I will look good.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, November 25th, 2008 at 9:08am and is filed under Opinions. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.